Letters
Early next year I am doing a paper for my high school psychology course on homosexuality. I have been reading a lot about homosexuality from those who affirm it and those who don't. I am confused. Can you let me know any studies that prove that homosexuality is not chosen? I am a church goer so I would like some information on how God creates homosexuals as well as heterosexuals. Thank you so much. I look forward to hearing from you.
-JW 12/31/2010
Hi JW, what an excellent question.
First, we must define what you mean by "prove." Some things cannot be proven. Proof usually is accompanied with physical evidence, see, hear, taste, feel and smell. I can "prove" that bridge is there by taking you to it and letting you see for yourself. Proof can also be ascertained if you can demonstrate something repeatedly without fail. You can "prove" gravity exists because things always fall. But how does one prove anything that cannot be displayed or demonstrated? Such as God. How do you prove there is a God?
In the American court system we have the expression "proof beyond a reasonable doubt." That is, perhaps a jury cannot see or touch the corpse, but the prosecution has convinced all twelve jurors that the defendant is guilty of murder. He can do that by evidence, reason and logic so compelling that a rational, sane person must come to such and such a conclusion with no doubt in his mind. For now, "proof beyond a reasonable doubt" is all we have regarding whether homosexuality is a choice or not.
We have to determine who it is we're trying to convince. Some people have already so firmly made up their minds with insufficient evidence that you can never convince them no matter what proof you offer. For those people – even if it's your own mother or father – you have to just let them believe what they have made up their mind to believe. Even if you present physical evidence to them, they will explain it away. The only person you can really convince is the person who wants to know.
Part of the evidence you gather comes from people who experienced the incident. Ask a Haitian what it was like to be in the recent Haitian earthquake. Then ask an Inuit person in Nunavat, Canada, what the Haitian earthquake was like. Who are you going to believe? The one who was there and experienced it, or the one who maybe only heard about it on the news? With the same reasoning, ask any gay person when he decided or chose to become gay. Ask any heterosexual person when he chose to become heterosexual. I believe the answer is always they same; no one chose to be what they are; they grew into it.
People can choose how they act. Gay and straight can choose to be celibate. Gay and straight can choose to have sex with the wrong gender (for them), or with an animal, or with a tree. Sexuality is your nature; how you have sex is your decision. I do believe that many psychologists will attest to this statement that anybody who, contrary to his nature, consistently denies his sexuality and engages in sex that is wrong for him, runs a significant risk of doing serious psychological damage to himself.
As I said, there will be no convincing some people. If a person is a member of a church that embraces the doctrine of homosexuality being evil, that person may never be convinced. Their arguments are, "It's right there, in the Bible" when it's not. It's their interpretation of the Bible that puts it there. Any time you try to convince a person – even your own parents or children – that their Bible doctrine is both wrong and harmful, you are in grave danger of rejection, ridicule, or even murder (depending on the church).
Gay Christians can take comfort in the fact that their heavenly Father, the Creator God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, created them as they are and loves them as they are. God created you as a gay person because he has a purpose for you as a gay person. Perhaps another gay believes God hates him. Maybe God wants you to bring this sorrowful soul back to him, and you can do it by showing him God's love for you.
I do recommend the book, Key to Biblical Doctrine by Jerald L. Brown. It goes into this subject quite a bit deeper than we did here.
Best wishes,
Jerry
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